You're listening to Heat the Word with our pastor and teacher Ken Davis. Pastor Ken is the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Southwest Metropolitan in Burleson, Texas. Please join us as we study the Gospel of Luke verse by verse.

Please, let me tell you something. Do you notice how much more instruction we men need than you do? To you, Paul says, submit your husbandses under the water. As he says, Okay, guys, love your wives, and let me explain what I mean by that. We're dancing. Women need to be loved. They need to be told that they are loved. They need to be shown that they are loved. The greatest need of most women's hearts is to feel loved by their husbands.

The Gospel of Luke is the third account in the Gospels of the life and teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ. As believers, there are few studies that will benefit us more spiritually than studying the life and teachings of the Master. The institution of marriage was ordained by God, so since it was from God, shouldn't those who enter into it adhere to the commands given for marriage? A successful marriage is one where both man and wife are submitted first to God the Father, then to each other. In Ecclesiastes, we learn that a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Don't forget to stay with us after today's message to hear more information about He the Word, specifically how you can get a free copy of this teaching. But for now, please open your Bibles to the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 31, as we join Pastor Ken.

Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. What? What is he saying? He's saying that if a man divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality, that he causes her to commit adultery? How is that possible? If she hasn't done anything, how is it possible that she has committed adultery? It's difficult to understand. And you know what I've noticed about commentaries? They don't like to talk about things that are difficult to understand. They're like, oh, let's skip that one. And you know, and a lot of churches would like to skip things like this. I was reading about a ministry not long ago, and the pastor was saying, Oh, well, you know, we don't we don't talk about sin at my church. That's condemnation, you know. It's not my job to condemn people. I want people to be happy. You know? Guys, let me tell you something. If I ever come here and I don't talk to you about sin when sin is what this word is talking about, then I'm a false teacher and you need to get rid of me as quickly as you possibly can. Do you understand me? Sin is sin. Adultery is sin. Divorce is sin. Now you say, how is it that this woman can be guilty of adultery, can be impacted in this way with sin in her life when he's the one that left her? Because you see, friends, sin does not happen in an isolated area. Sin does not happen in a contained environment. Sin gets all over everything. When one person sins, everyone is affected. When Achan sinned, the entire nation of Israel came under judgment. Achan, who was he? Well, he was a soldier, right? In the Israeli army. And when they took Jericho, God said, Don't touch anything. You don't take none of it. No loot for you. But Achan took some stuff. He found some nice clothes, he found some silver, he took it, he buried it in his tent. And when the children of Israel went out to fight the next time, they were defeated. Why? Because there was sin in the camp. Because the sin of one man affected the entire body. And when two people in marriage become one, and one of them goes off and does something stupid, don't you think it doesn't affect the other one? Because these two have become one flesh. Let's read on to see what Jesus says about this. Verse 33. Again, you have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord. But I say to you, do not swear at all, neither by heaven, nor by God's throne, nor by the earth, for it is his footstool, nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great king, nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your yes be yes, and your no be no. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. When we stand before God and before the congregation, and we make a covenant with one another to enter into the bonds of matrimony, we need to let our yes be yes and our no be no. God said that these two would be one flesh. Jesus said that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. When divorce occurs, there is a sundering that results in adultery, in damage, in pain. I don't know how to work with wood and things like that. But I understand that if you take two pieces of wood and you glue those two pieces of wood together, and they're well glued and cemented, and they too become one piece of wood. And that glue dries and they're joined. If you later come and try to rip these two boards apart, they will come apart, but not at the place that they were glued. But rather, whichever board has the weaker grain will rip and tear asunder. And divorce is the same way. You see, that's one of the reasons that God hates it. Because when there is a sundering apart of two people that have been joined together, then there is collateral damage on both sides. It's been well said that divorce is like amputation. You can survive it, but there's less of you left after it. When a divorce occurs, you lose something of yourself that was joined to that other person. There is a sundering and there is a pain that results from it. Now, Jesus said that except for sexual immorality, that there was no divorce. Can I tell you that he said that what God has joined together let no man put asunder. Even in the instance of adultery, divorce does not have to be the answer. God has commanded us to be willing to forgive even as we ourselves have been forgiven. And I firmly believe that if two people will repent of their sin and will submit themselves to God and will be willing to forgive one another, that there is no marriage that God cannot heal. I've seen marriages that should have been ripped apart, but by the grace of God and the humility of those in that marriage and their willingness to forgive one another in grace has made those marriages stronger today than they were before the adultery occurred. Turn to first Corinthians chapter seven. Scripture gives us one other allowance for divorce. As Paul writes in First Corinthians chapter seven, let's turn there and see what he says. First Corinthians seven ten. Now to the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, a wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife. What Paul is saying is, listen, as Christians, you are not to be divorced. Now, I suppose there might be an occasion where you needed to be separated, but in that case, do not marry someone else, but work on resolving those issues and be reconciled to your husband, Paul is saying. But then he goes on to say something more. Verse 12, but to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe, now before, what was he referring to? Two believers, right? Now he's going to talk about a situation where there's one believer and one unbeliever in that marriage. But to the rest, I, not the Lord, say, if any brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. What he's saying is, you know what, there were times where two people, and there are times today when two people maybe will come to a church service and one spouse will say, I believe, and will commit their lives to the Lord, and the other will say, I don't want anything to do with that. Well, what Paul is saying is that in that instance, if that other person who wanted nothing to do with that, that unbelieving spouse desires to continue living with the believing spouse, by all means, don't leave them, stay with them. He says, But to the rest, I know the Lord say, If a brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean. But now they are holy. What he's saying is, is there is great benefit to those children if there's one believing parent in the home. Granted, it would be better if there were two, but at least if there's that one believing parent in the home, that that's of great benefit to those children. But if the unbeliever departs, you know, there can come a point in time where that other person that you're living with says, you are crazy. I liked you better before you knew this Jesus. We used to party every weekend. We used to go out and get drunk. We used to go do this or do that. What's the matter with you? You don't want to do those things anymore. I don't like you anymore. I'm out of here, right? But if the unbelieving partner departs, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband, or how do you know, oh husband, whether you will save your wife? Sometimes it's difficult when we're in a marriage situation and we feel that we're the only one who's investing anything in that marriage, and that other person just doesn't want anything to do with us or with God. The Lord says, Remain faithful. You don't know, but the Lord may use you to reach that other person. There's no telling what God can do. So in the instance of adultery, yes, divorce is an option. In the instance of abandonment, where one spouse just says, I'm out of here, yes, it's an option. Does adultery occur in these situations? Yes, it does. Is it a sin? Absolutely. Are both parties affected by that sin? Without a doubt. And yet in 1 John 1 9, we find these blessed words that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Jesus Christ stands ready to forgive you. Have you been divorced once, twice, three times? Can I tell you? Jesus Christ stands ready to forgive you. Do you stand here today and say, well, it wasn't my fault, it was their fault? Can I tell you, I've seen enough of life to know nothing is ever as one-sided as it seems. And in any situation, there is always guilt to bear. And it is when we deny all guilt and we deny any wrongdoing on our part that we cut ourselves off from the forgiveness that God offers. Because if we don't acknowledge that we have anything to be forgiven of, why would we ever ask for forgiveness to begin with? Acknowledge your sin. Recognize that you have done wrongly, that there is that in you which is unjust, that is unrighteous, and that falls short of the mark of God's holy perfection. And then come to him and receive mercy. Come to him and receive healing for your souls. Come to him and let him bind up those broken places and wash you clean. He longs to forgive you. You see, the church is not without sin here as well. As an organization, as a body, as a group of people. Because we have taken isolated texts in Scripture and made them mean things they do not mean. The scriptures teach us that if a man seeks the office of a bishop, that he seeks a good thing, it's a good thing that he wants that. And there are certain criteria that are given within the scriptures. And one of the things that it says is, let him be the husband of one wife. Let him be the husband of one wife, it says. Much of the church has taken that to mean that if a man has ever been divorced, whether it was his fault or not, meaning whether he was the one that sought it or not, that that man is then disqualified from service as a pastor or an elder or a deacon. There are mainline denominations today that teach that. I have a friend who was a deacon in his church, and he said, You know, really, I don't feel that I'm qualified to be a deacon. He says, But the fact of the matter is, I'm one of the only guys there who hasn't been divorced, so they made me the deacon because I was the only one that could serve in that capacity because everybody else has been divorced. You can be an ex-drug dealer and be a deacon. You can be a bank robber, serve your time, come to know the Lord in jail, and they'll make you a pastor. You can even be an adulterer, but don't get divorced. You see, the way that much of the church world has addressed it is they have made divorce the unpardonable sin. And the fact of the matter is this the world says divorce is not a sin. There's nothing wrong with it, and that's a lie. Divorce is a sin, there is something wrong with it, and we need to repent of it as individuals, as a nation, and as the body of Christ. But by the same token, the church often has gone to the other extreme and said that there's no forgiveness for divorce. Oh, yeah, you can be forgiven, we'll let you tithe, but you can't serve in ministry. Oh no, you're damaged goods, you see. Can I tell you that both of those extremes are from the pit of hell? They're both wrong. Yes, divorce is a sin. Make no excuse for it. But God came to die for sinners. Jesus came to shed his blood that they might be forgiven. So do not discount the grace of God and say that it cannot cover this sin. Because it can. And it does. Let's look at how things ought to be. Turn to Ephesians chapter 5. Some of you single people may have tuned me out today. Oh, he's talking about divorce. That doesn't apply to me, huh? Oh, yes, it does. I've told you there's one reason that God hates divorce, and that that reason is because of the pain that it causes those who go through it. But there's another reason that he hates divorce, and we're gonna find it right here in Ephesians chapter 5 in a minute or two. But let's start at verse 22. I would call these next few verses the best way to avoid divorce. You know, it's one thing to say we want to bind up the broken, we want to set those broken bones in place, and we want to see healing come. You know, we want to we we want to help people recover from all the damage that's been done by divorce. Can I tell you that in the case of divorce, I greatly prefer preventative medicine as the first aid. And can I tell you that here in Ephesians 5, you'll find some of the best preventative medicine regarding that type of destruction that you'll find anywhere in Scripture? Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Oh no, submit. Wow, what a horrible word that is. Oh, we hate submit. Right, no, it says, as unto the Lord, right? As Christians, do you moan and groan and complain about having to submit unto the Lord, or do you see it as your natural duty as believers in Christ? Both, right? If we're completely honest. And yet it says here, wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now to the husbands, he says, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ladies, let me tell you something. Do you notice how much more instruction we men need than you do? To you, Paul says, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. To us, he says, Okay, guys, love your wives, and let me explain what I mean by that. We're dense. Women need to be loved. They need to be told that they are loved. They need to be shown that they are loved. The greatest need of most women's hearts is to feel loved by their husband. Men don't need that. Don't get me wrong, we do, we do. But there's something else that we need more than that. Respect. You ask any man, would you rather your friends love you or would you rather they respect you? Just a show of hands. How many of you men would rather have the respect of your peers than their love? It's all about respect, ladies. You say, Well, you gotta earn my respect. Well, hey, do you have to earn our love? These are two sides of the same coin. We could spend three weeks on this message and still not even scratch the surface. So that's all I'm gonna say about that for now. But there's a beautiful picture that's being drawn here. And this is the picture. Verse 30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. What was it that Adam said to Eve, you are now flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone, right? Well, Paul is saying here regarding Christ in the church, he's saying, For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bone. What he's saying is that as the church, we are married to Jesus. We are married to Jesus, we are his bride. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ and the church. See, Paul tells us himself here, that's why I'm able to say that with such certainty. He says, I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. The marriage relationship is a picture of Christ's commitment to you. That is why God hates divorce, because it destroys the image of that which He has established with us. God is saying to you, His body, you are bone of my bone, you are flesh of my flesh. God said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. But when we walk away from Jesus Christ, when we bring that separation, we commit adultery. So often we as believers commit adultery against God by fornicating with the world, and divorce is the natural consequence of that. Jesus said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. He said that if you confess your sins to me, I'll forgive you. How many times have we betrayed God? How many times have we committed spiritual fornication and adultery and just totally turned our back on him? And yet each time as we come back to him and we ask for that forgiveness, he freely gives it to us. Ought not we do the same for one another? God hates divorce. He doesn't hate the divorced person. Likewise, we should hate divorce. And as a Christian, it should be a word that does not exist in your vocabulary. But when it does come in, and when we as a body experience the pain it causes, let us not be those who bring condemnation on the hurting the world. But let us bring love in the restoration. Because that's exactly what Jesus has offered to us.

Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for today. You've been listening to Heed the Word, the teaching ministry of Pastor Ken Davis at Calvary Chapel in Burleson, Texas. We are currently making our way through the Gospel of Luke here on Heat the Word. The Gospel of Luke is packed full of insights about Jesus, our Savior. So we encourage you to join us again, same time, same place, for the next study through Luke with Pastor Ken. As we mentioned at the beginning of today's broadcast, this teaching, as well as many others, are available from the Heed the Word Media Player. You can listen to today's teaching, download today's teaching, subscribe to the Heat the Word podcast, or even get a copy on your mobile phone. Everything's right there. There's even a Bible available for you to follow along in the scriptures as Pastor Ken teaches. So log on to HeedTheWord.org and continue studying with us today. If today's teaching has blessed you, perhaps you'd like to visit us for worship. Calvary Chapel Southwest Metro meets each Sunday morning at 10:30 a.m. and Wednesday evening at 7 p.m. We'd love to have you stop by and join us. For more information and driving directions, welcome to www.heatheworld.org. This has been another edition of Heatheworld, the verse by the verse, chapter by chapter, and book by book teaching the ministry of Ken Davis, senior pastor of the Alfred Chapel Sublas. This is the Mark and your bottom of the list and join us next time for our continuing study through the classical blue right here on Heat the World.